Not receiving your child support means that you lack choices in life. I could never call in sick; I couldn’t change jobs or move on a whim. He had luxuries and options that I didn’t have. All I could do is do what had to be done for my children.
I received my first and only child support check in 1989 from a wage garnishment. After that, we were on our own. I have raised six children. They understood that Mom couldn’t take them to McDonald’s. You know, when a child asks for something, and you tell them no, there is still room for negotiation. There is nothing more definitive than telling a child, “I’m sorry, I just don’t have the money.” My kids understood that. What they didn’t understand is why their father wouldn’t help, why he didn’t pay.
A couple years later, in the early 90’s, I finally contacted the Attorney General’s office. I received this huge packet of legal paperwork. Then I remember people telling me that nothing would come of it. In fact, I recall one of the caseworkers saying, “We might get to your case and we might not.” I had no confidence that anything would ever get done. I never saw the AG’s office as a viable option. If I wanted something done, I was going to have to find another way.
My son wanted to try and help. Bless his heart, he was so young, and I still can picture him getting out the yellow pages and flipping through trying to find family attorneys. He’d call number after number…no one would help him, of course. You know, I couldn’t afford to pay up-front for an attorney. Besides, there is no guarantee that an attorney is going to be successful.
One day, actually years later, (my kids are mostly grown now in college and/or married) I saw a commercial on TV for Supportkids. I called that day. I thought to myself…this might work. The commercial talked about having a court order and other requirements, and I knew that it sounded like my situation. Plus, I am a pack rat, and I figured that I could pull together all the information that was needed.
I got the application a few days later. I filled it out, and my case was accepted. Once Supportkids got all my info, I really had the feeling that people were pursuing this. It wasn’t just sitting on someone’s desk somewhere. I would call in to check my case status, and I thought, “Oh my goodness, something is really happening, this is really working.” Within 6 months, I received my first payment! It just felt so good!
It was amazing. My Enforcement Specialist, Alisa, was wonderful. I couldn’t believe how supportive, encouraging, and determined she was. She made him pay. I sometimes felt bad that she had to deal with this guy, but Alisa would tell me that she didn’t take him or his behavior personally, which was the perfect answer for me, because I needed to hear that. I needed to know that someone could mediate because, to me, it was very personal.
The thing is, my ex never had to think about shoes, clothes, lunch money. So, you know, when I get my checks, I don’t feel remorse. I don’t ever question whether I should be doing this or not. I am so glad that somebody is making him accountable.
I love what Supportkids has done for me, for my children. I will do whatever I can to help other parents in my situation know that Supportkids is out there. I can’t thank Supportkids enough.
Benell T., TX